My college years were some of my toughest years of living with mental illness that I went through. It’s when things got so bad I was forced to get professional health.
This week I had some devastating news that deeply upset me and also made me reflect on myself. One of my friends committed suicide.
This was truly shocking and saddening news to hear. Although I know numerous people who have attempted suicide, including myself, I’ve never known someone to successfully complete it. In fact, I hardly know anyone on a personal level who has died, I’ve never even been to a funeral before.
In February I fell ill again, mentally. I ended back in a psychiatric ward after last being in one in August last year. I failed my new years resolution of not going into hospital but it could not be helped, after all, I don’t have control over my illnesses.
I was moderately depressed at the time but that was not the reason for my inpatient stay. I became psychotic again, not to the extreme of my last manic episode but enough to put myself in danger.
2016 has not been the best year – Brexit, Trump and the numerous celebrity deaths such as George Michael, David Bowie and Carrie Fisher to name a few. But 2016 has been a disappointing year for me personally.
I reached multiple peaks of mental illness that have contributed many things to making this year one I wish to forget.
My last post was about a manic episode where I was euphoric and on a huge high, so now I’m going in the complete opposite direction and talking about the lowest times in my life.
A while ago I made a sarcastic post on tumblr about “fun” things when I’m depressed. It’s got almost 300 reblogs so I’m not alone in feeling this way. Depression is more than just feeling a bit sad sometimes, there are lots of other symptoms that a depressed person may or may not exhibit.
This is a bit scary to put out there as it’s the first time I’ve spoken properly about my struggles to people I know that aren’t my family and closest friends. And I have a bad habit of oversharing so this is probably going to be too detailed. But today is World Mental Health Day so what better day to start speaking about it. I want to break the stigma attached to it and fight for what I believe in – that mental health problems should be treated equally to physical health problems