So recently I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It was helpful to get a name for some new symptoms I’d been experiencing. And it also means I can get the right treatment for it.
There are a lot of misconceptions about this disorder like that you have to be exceptionally clean and orderly (which I am not), sure some people with OCD are, especially those with Contamination OCD. But you see, there are many different types of OCD, such as checking (checking rituals e.g. that doors are locked repeatedly), harm (that harm will come to them or someone they know), pure O (obsessions with mental compulsions only) and there are many more.
Some people with OCD have obsessions with a number or set of numbers and doing things a set number of times. Others may just repeatedly do a compulsion until they feel safe and less anxious. But there is a reason for these strange behaviours. People with OCD experience intrusive thoughts (involuntary distressing thoughts), extreme worry and anxiety of what they think will be the consequences if they don’t do them, whether that be their mum dying of cancer, or them going to prison for attacking someone. These are all very frightening and true fears for the OCD sufferer.
OCD can be triggered by a number of things including past trauma, biological factors or chemical imbalances although often you have a genetic predisposition.
I don’t want to go into detail about my compulsions publicly because it makes me very paranoid, embarrassed and anxious to have my compulsions noticed so I try and keep them discreet and hidden. Please don’t purposely look for them as it will make things harder to deal with for me.